FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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