Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
