Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
