DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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