Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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