$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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