Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
