I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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