I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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