Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
