i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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