The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
