She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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