Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
