She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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