He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The feeling are messing with the penis
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
