Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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