Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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