Don't you send me to vm
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
