There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
