It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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