once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
