who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
