We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
