How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
