He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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