Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
