I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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