we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
