I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize