I will die if light touches me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
