508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
