I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
