My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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