just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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