So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
