Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
