i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
