Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
