When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
