So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
