She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
