My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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