dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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