I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
