i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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