My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need to calm my uterus...
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