Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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