She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
