awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
