i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
