I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
